Sunday, 18 August 2013

Camilla Dallerup – Camilla’s Cardiodance Workout

Strictly Come Dancing and Celebrity Workout DVDs are frequent bedfellows. Probably not just bedfellows. More likely frequent, enthusiastic, downright kinky sex buddies.

You couldn’t throw a brick at a Strictly Come Dancing Reunion All-You-Can-Eat buffet lunch without bruising half a dozen C-List Celebrity Workout alumni. Particularly if Gabby Logan, Penny Lancaster, JessieWallace, Natalie Cassidy, Ali Bastion and Fern Britton were all clustered round the chocolate fondue a comfortable brick-hefting distance away.

Camilla in her day job

It stands to reason that if the galumphing celeb contestants can release a dancercise workout then the Strictly Come Dancing professionals must be eminently qualified to instruct and inform us humble plebs. I reviewed ‘Strictly Come Fit Dance Dancey Fit Dance’ some months ago which featured three of the pro dancers. In this DVD, Camilla Dallerup is flying solo. I would continue the sex analogy but we all know how that’s going to end up.

Camilla and her former partner Brendan Cole represented Great Britain in 2007’s Eurovision Dance Contest, incidentally. What do you mean you didn’t know there was a Eurovision Dance contest? You know people like you are the reason it got cancelled after only 2 years due to a “serious lack of interest”.
Britain’s representatives from left to right:  Dane, New Zealander.

Sections on this DVD include a Warm Up,  – which Camilla delightfully pronounces “Worm Up” throughout –Jive Kick Calorie Burner, Booty Blitz and Latin Combat. “Who says you can’t dance and punch at the same time?” asks the DVD blurb. I don’t think anyone’s ever said you can’t to be honest. I’m not sure anyone’s really felt the need. There’s a section called “Core Fusion” which trainer Steve Richardson gets to be in charge of. Because Camilla doesn’t want to be the bad guy, presumably.

Don't mess with the Steve

The workout is a bit light on DVD extras. We barely even get an introduction before we’re plunged into the Worm Up. I’ve clearly been spoiled by other celebrities. A workout just doesn’t feel complete these days unless it’s accompanied by a poorly explained diet plan, a ‘making of’ documentary and some in-depth interviews with a celebrity, their trainer, the chief sound engineer and the lady who designed the leg warmers.

And the lady who does Camilla's hair, of course.

Best Bit
Camilla has an uncanny resemblance to Kylie Minogue. If Neighbours ever want to bring Charlene back without waiting for Minogue to find a window in her calendar, then Camilla would be the very girl to play her. I have no idea if Camilla can act but I am pretty certain that isn’t one of the criteria for getting a part in Neighbours. They could explain her Danish accent by saying that Charlene had a stroke and woke up speaking with a different accent because that’s an actual thing


Worst Bit
Tiffany is the “Watch if you want the easy version” member of Camilla’s dance troupe. It would seem that the easy way to do Camilla’s dance moves is to always keep your arms by your side like you’re performing Riverdance. It doesn’t help a great deal to be honest.

Difficulty Level
At the beginning of the Jive Kick Calorie Burner section, Camilla says “We’ve got some jive moves in here and a bit of twist. So you probably know a lot of the dance steps already.” I fear she may have massively over-estimated my dance expertise.

The dance workouts aren’t hard to do, particularly, but they do involve a lot of quick changes between moves that Camilla expects you to recognise even though I’m sure they don’t exist anywhere outside this DVD. “And now, Charleston Run!” That’s not a thing, Camilla! You just made that up.

Particularly favoured by the gentlemen, that one.

Would I do this workout again?
I doubt it. I mean, sure Camilla, you showed me the magical world of Latino dancing combined with boxing but I feel that just isn’t enough for me any more. I want to mix new types of dance and violence. Salsa stabbing, for instance. Or Baroque beheading.
This looks promising.

1 comment:

  1. lol I totally agree, this was actually funny to read especially because I have done the work out.